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SteelyCHAN presents: Can't Venmo A Thrill

by flochan

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1.
I remember the thirty-five sweet goodbyes When you put me on the Wolverine Up to Annandale It was still September When your daddy was quite surprised To find you with the working girls In the county jail I was smoking with the boys upstairs When I heard about the whole affair I said oh no William and Mary won't do Well I did not think the girl Could be so cruel And I'm never going back To my old school Oleanders growing outside her door Soon they're gonna be in bloom Up in Annandale I can't stand her Doing what she did before Living like a gypsy queen In a fairy tale Well I hear the whistle but I can't go I'm gonna take her down to Mexico She said oh no Guadalajara won't do Well I did not think the girl Could be so cruel And I'm never going back To my old school California tumbles into the sea That'll be the day I go Back to Annandale Tried to warn you About Chino and Daddy Gee But I can't seem to get to you Through the U.S. Mail Well I hear the whistle but I can't go I'm gonna take her down to Mexico She said oh no Guadalajara won't do Well I did not think the girl Could be so cruel And I'm never going back To my old school
2.
In the mornin you go gunnin' For the man who stole your water And you fire till he is done in But they catch you at the border And the mourners are all singin' As they drag you by your feet But the hangman isn't hangin' And they put you on the street [Chorus:] You go back Jack do it again Wheel turnin' 'round and 'round You go back Jack do it again When you know she's no high climber Then you find your only friend In a room with your two timer And you're sure you're near the end Then you love a little wild one And she brings you only sorrow All the time you know she's smilin' You'll be on your knees tomorrow [Chorus] Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of milk and honey You must put them on the table
3.
We hear you're leaving, that's okay I thought our little wild time had just begun I guess you kind of scared yourself, you turn and run But if you have a change of heart Rikki don't lose that number You don't want to call nobody else Send it off in a letter to yourself Rikki don't lose that number It's the only one you want You might use it if you feel better When you get home I have a friend in town, he's heard your name We can go out driving on Slow Hand Row We could stay inside and play games, I don't know And you could have a change of heart Rikki don't lose that number You don't want to call nobody else Send it off in a letter to yourself Rikki don't lose that number It's the only one you want You might use it if you feel better When you get home You tell yourself you're not my kind But you don't even know your mind And you could have a change of heart Rikki don't lose that number You don't want to call nobody else Send it off in a letter to yourself Rikki don't lose that number It's the only one you want You might use it if you feel better When you get home
4.
Way back when In Sixty-seven I was the dandy Of Gamma Chi Sweet things from Boston So young and willing Moved down to Scarsdale Where the hell am I Hey Nineteen No we can't dance together No we can't talk at all Please take me along When you slide on down Hey Nineteen That's 'Retha Franklin She don't remember The Queen of Soul It's hard times befallen The sole survivors She thinks I'm crazy But I'm just growing old Hey Nineteen No we got nothing in common No we can't talk at all Please take me along When you slide on down The Cuervo Gold The fine Colombian Make tonight a wonderful thing No we can't dance together No we can't talk at all
5.
Your everlasting summer You can see it fading fast So you grab a piece of something That you think is gonna last But you wouldn't know a diamond If you held it in your hand The things you think are precious I can't understand Are you reelin' in the years Stowin' away the time Are you gatherin' up the tears Have you had enough of mine Are you reelin' in the years Stowin' away the time Are you gatherin' up the tears Have you had enough of mine You been tellin' me you're a genius Since you were seventeen In all the time I've known you I still don't know what you mean The weekend at the college Didn't turn out like you planned The things that pass for knowledge I can't understand Are you reelin' in the years Stowin' away the time Are you gatherin' up the tears Have you had enough of mine Are you reelin' in the years Stowin' away the time Are you gatherin' up the tears Have you had enough of mine I spend a lot of money And I spent a lot of time The trip we made in Hollywood Is etched upon my mind After all the things we've done and seen You find another man The things you think are useless I can't understand Are you reelin' in the years Stowin' away the time Are you gatherin' up the tears Have you had enough of mine Are you reelin' in the years Stowin' away the time Are you gatherin' up the tears Have you had enough of mine
6.
Times are hard You're afraid to pay the fee So you find yourself somebody Who can do the job for free When you need a bit of lovin' 'Cause your man is out of town That's the time you get me runnin' And you know I'll be around I'm a fool to do your dirty work Oh yeah I don't wanna do your dirty work No more I'm a fool to do your dirty work Oh yeah Light the candle Put the lock upon the door You have sent the maid home early Like a thousand times before Like the castle in its corner In a medieval game I foresee terrible trouble And I stay here just the same I'm a fool to do your dirty work Oh yeah I don't wanna do your dirty work No more I'm a fool to do your dirty work Oh yeah
7.
I've seen your picture Your name in lights above it This is your big debut It's like a dream come true And when you smile for the camera I know they're gonna love it I like your pin shot I keep it with your letter Done up in blueprint blue It sure looks good on you So won't you smile for the camera I know I'll love you better Peg It will come back to you Peg It will come back to you Then the shutter falls You see it all in 3-D It's your favorite foreign movie
8.
The wind was driving in my face The smell of prickly pear [My rival - show me my rival] The milk truck eased into my space Somebody screamed somewhere I struck a match against the door Of Anthony's Bar and Grill I was the whining stranger A fool in love With time to kill I've got detectives on his case They filmed the whole charade [My rival - show me my rival] He's got a scar across his face He wears a hearing aid Sure he's a jolly roger Until he answers for his crime Yes I'll match him whim for whim now I still recall when I first held Your tiny hand in mine [My rival - show me my rival] I loved you more than I can tell But now it's stomping time Sure he's a jolly roger Until he answers for his crime Yes I'll match him whim for whim now
9.
If I had my way I would move to another lifetime I'd quit my job Ride the train through the misty nighttime I'll be ready when my feet touch ground Wherever I come down And if the folks will have me Then they'll have me [Chorus:] Any world that I'm welcome to Is better than the one I come from I can hear your words When you speak of what you are and have seen I can see your hand Reaching out through a shining daydream Where the days and nights are not the same Captured happy in a picture frame Honey I will be there Yes I'll be there [Chorus] I got this thing inside me That's got to find a place to hide me I only know I must obey This feeling I can't explain away I think I'll go to the park Watch the children playing Perhaps I'll find in my head What my heart is saying A vision of a child returning A kingdom where the sky is burning Honey I will be there Yes I'll be there [Chorus]
10.
Babs and Clean Willie were in love they said So in love the preacher's face turned red Soon everybody knew the thing was dead He shouts, she bites, they wrangle through the night She go crazy Got to make a getaway Papa say [Chorus:] Oh - no hesitation No tears and no hearts breakin' No remorse Oh - congratulations This is your Haitian Divorce She takes the taxi to the good hotel Bon marche as far as she can tell She drinks the zombie from the cocoa shell She feels alright, she get it on tonight Mister driver Take me where the music play Papa say [Chorus] At the Grotto In the greasy chair Sits the Charlie with the lotion and the kinky hair When she smiled, she said it all The band was hot so They danced the famous Merengue Now we dolly back Now we fade to black Tearful reunion in the USA Day by day those memories fade away Some babies grow in a peculiar way It changed, it grew, and everybody knew Semi-mojo Who's this kinky so-and-so? Papa go
11.
I never seen you looking so bad my funky one You tell me that your superfine mind has come undone Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again When the demon is at your door In the morning it won't be there no more Any major dude will tell you Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine The people on the street have all seen better times Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again When the demon is at your door In the morning it won't be there no more Any major dude will tell you I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again When the demon is at your door In the morning it won't be there no more Any major dude will tell you
12.
I know this super highway This bright familiar sun I guess that I'm the lucky one Who wrote that tired sea song Set on this peaceful shore You think you've heard this one before Well the danger on the rocks is surely past Still I remain tied to the mast Could it be that I have found my home at last Home at last She serves the smooth retsina She keeps me safe and warm It's just the calm before the storm Call in my reservation So long hey thanks my friend I guess I'll try my luck again Well the danger on the rocks is surely past Still I remain tied to the mast Could it be that I have found my home at last Home at last
13.
Now they lay his body down Sad old men who run this town I still recall the way He led the charge and saved the day Blue blood and rain I can hear the bugle playin' We seen the last of Good King Richard Ring out the past his name lives on Roll out the bones and raise up your pitcher Raise up your glass to Good King John While he plundered far and wide All his starving children cried And though we sung his fame We all went hungry just the same He meant to shine To the end of the line We seen the last of Good King Richard Ring out the past his name lives on Roll out the bones and raise up your pitcher Raise up your glass to Good King John
14.
15.

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released July 1, 2016

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